Make her wet

by – Kai, lead somatic sexologist

Prior to writing this blog article I failed to realise how heterocentric it was. SO those persons who like having vulva-vulva sex, penis-anus sex, or any other variation – you may choose to adapt Kunyaza however you wish.

Let’s face it, many women don’t get pleasured enough during love making, If not at all through penile-vaginal penetration.

Now, I am not saying penile-vaginal penetration can’t be pleasurable, for some women it can be but for many, it just doesn’t work. An explanation for this comes down to female genital anatomy and the way women become aroused. I am always thinking about how women can be sexually pleasured more. For too long now they have had the rough end of the stick so to speak.

After delving into this research in greater detail I stumbled across an alternative way of pleasuring women which involves an ancient technique used by African women, they call this technique kunyaza. Kunyaza, when translated means to make urinate and some people may find this translation rather repugnant but the technique has been reported by African women for over 150 years.

The fundamental idea is that the man strikes his hard penis against the outside of the vulva. Now we don’t want men to think they can just jump into this technique, sufficient foreplay is a must. We suggest starting off with some breath work, maybe a body and vulva massage as well.

To measure her level of arousal you can observe her labial folds – they should be engorged with a slight change in colour, they may even open slightly. Her labial fold and vagina may also be moist which is another indication that she may be aroused. Now tune your hearing and notice her breathing, the depth of her breath and the rate. Place a warm hand over her heart and stare into her eyes to observe her heart beat. Now observe her moans and movement. For many women it takes time to become sufficiently aroused and just because she is moist doesn’t necessarily mean she is ready. So communicate with her and ask her if she’s ready.

Kunyaza starts with the man inserting his penis into the vagina moving it in an in/out motion. Once the penis is lubricated enough from the vagina the man should hold his penis between the index and middle finger. If the man is not sufficiently lubricated make sure you add some lubrication to the outside of your penis and also to her vagina.

The man gently and rhythmically taps the labial folds up/down with the head of the penis (glans), after a while vary the tapping to zig-zag motions (across ways from top/bottom) now including the clitoris. If her labia fold’s flower, then you can continue stimulating the internal labia minora and vaginal opening. After a while start to include the whole vulva up/down even including her perineum. Also stimulate the vaginal walls in short and deep movements. The woman should direct the man to what feels pleasure and whether he should vary the tapping. Different/varying strokes of the penis against the vulva and clitoris can lead to multiple and blissful orgasms and ejaculation for the female. African men report an abundance of warm expulsion of liquid from these techniques.

Both vulva/clitoral glans and the foreskin/penis glans are richly innervated – meaning there is an abundance or nerves in these areas that contribute to pleasurable sensations. Stimulating these nerves can lead to an orgasm. Take note men, because you don’t actually need your penis to be wrapped inside the vagina to be sufficiently stimulated and orgasm, especially in Kunyaza.

It’s not so easy to write about this technique so a visual description of-course is warranted. We managed to find a couple of videos on YouPorn so please let us know if it works for you. To learn more about Kunyaza, or various other techniques why not make an appointment with us to explore further. Kunyaza on YouPorn Part 1 and Kunyaza on YouPorn Part 2


1. Bizimana N. Another way for lovemaking in Africa: Kunyaza, a traditional sexual technique for triggering female orgasm at heterosexual encounters. Sexologies. 2010;19:157-162.

2. Larsen J. The social vagina: labia elongation and social capital among woman in Rwanda. Culture, Health & Sexuality. 2010;1-14.