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age and fine wine – sexual intimacy

by – Kai, lead somatic sexologist

Have you ever had one of those ‘wow,’ ‘ah-huh’ moments? I had one of those ‘moments’ when I viewed “lovers making love”. For the first time in my life I was taken back by the connection between age and sexual intimacy. Despite being in my late thirties, the sparse grey hairs on my chest are eventually going to become denser. I among many of us are ageing. What I often fail to realise is that ageing actually increases our erotic capacity. Now I am not in my 50’s but I have noticed as I get older my sexual experiences, love making and pleasure with myself continues to change. I have started to slow down and take the time to appreciate my erotic experiences.

The kind intimacy that is displayed to each other in “lovers making love” is not often discussed in society. Nor represented at an educational level. I would also suggest that the level intimacy that these clips highlight is often missing in many peoples erotic experiences. Now lovers making love is a heterocentric clip. I wanted to mention this because such levels of intimacy and erotic experience can be applied across all sexuality. If your curious enough to watch, check out the clips below.

  • Lovers making love: part one, here.
  • Lovers making love: part two, here.
  • Lovers making love: part three, here.

From your curiosity you would have observed …  is the refined level of slow intimacy. Jokingly, NO it’s not because they are older. Professionally I am always telling clients to “slow the fuck down”. When you slow down you are able to feel into your body. You can gauge subtle sexual cues from your partner. You will experience a heightened level arousal/pleasure otherwise not felt if you are rushing. Some sexual foreplay and mindfulness with eye contact always makes for a better sexual experience. Of course, this is what the (lovers making love) clips capture so well. Slowing down increases our erotic capacity.

Often people disregard anything to do with ageism and sex. It’s another taboo moment of, “I would prefer not to see”,  “know about it” or “it does not exist”. Love making exists everywhere. It doesn’t matter how old you are, you can still experience sexual and erotic enjoyment with another. Even if its sex with yourself. Just because you are ageing does not mean sexual enjoyment stops.

The beauty of these two lovers interaction exposes intense connection and vulnerability  – not often found in such mediums/online porn material. I would personally like to see more content with older people online. I feel there is definitely a lack sexual content for the ageing generations.

Now briefly, whilst on the topic of ageing and sex I should mention that older persons are not immune to sexually transmitted infections. Safe sex is probably not on the top of the list for older persons but it should be. So if you are aged 50 and above (sexually active). Haven’t had a sexual health check for sometime, or maybe even never. You should have a chat with your Doctor to arrange a sexual health check. Or you can contact Polysoma to discuss any concerns you may have. Check out this YouTube clip below – Grandma sex – “should have worn a condom”.

As the saying goes fine wine and age….  often sexual maturity comes with age and sexual experiences. I do wonder if aged cheese should be added to this?